An Entomologist Judges Insect Halloween Costumes: Issue 2

Its [was two months ago] that time of year again. Time for witches and goblins, spooky stories and candy...and for mocking store-bought insect costumes from the internet! That's right dear reader, its time, once again for:

An Entomologist Judges Insect Halloween Costumes: Issue 2

So another year has passed, and I am still an entomologist, and even still being paid a meager wage as such! And the internet has still decided that people want to be insects, or something vaguely resembling insects, or to wear lingerie with insect-ish coloration patterns on it and call it a costume (sigh). So, I am here to provide the necessary social service of clarifying some entomological misunderstandings, such as the notions that orders other than flies have two wings, insects have only four legs, and bees wear heels. So hold on to your butts, I've entered my search terms and here we go...





I'm gonna start off with a winner this time: this person! Not only is this costume most likely homemade (possibly by a professional costume designer) but it also branches out in its taxonomy (ie not bee or ladybug) to a truly cool and weird insect, the stalk eyed fly!

Look at this crazy thing! I mean, just look at it. Stalk -eyed flies of the family Diopsidae live in the tropics of Asia and Africa, and feed of decaying vegetation of the forest floor and associated microbes. here is the great Sir David Attenborough narrating how the insect inflates its stalks after emerging from its pupa. Why the hammerhead shark on steroids quality? Well, its boils down to this: long and bizarre eyes on stalks= tres sexy (note, this is the ONLY sexy insect costume that is acceptable). Females of some species do not have the eyestalks (other species do) and they are drawn to the males with the longest and most impressive eyestalks (insert joke here). Like antlers on deer, the longer the stalks, the healthier the male, the more you want your offspring to have those traits, sexual selection at its most obvious. 

So clearly, with this sexy halloween costumes, this person is trying to get all the ladies.  Props for the six legs with pretty good realism, the stalked-eye hat, and the abdominal segments. And a creative selection of awesome insect! A+

Then there's this guy. The jazz hands, again. Why is it that nearly every man modeling an insect costume appears to have just struck the closing pose in a show choir number? I am perplexed. I also didn't even know they sold shag carpeting in that color. Its more like the newest member of Animal's psychedelic band (with serious musical theatre training) than a bumble bee. This costume does make heavy use of the fact that bees are very hairy/fuzzy (although bee hairs are evolved specifically to catch pollen and not the crumbs from their late night Crunch-Wrap Supreme). But there are only four human limbs, no attempt at three body segments, and, jarringly, cute little inaccurate knobs at the end of the antennae (umm, nope). And, wings anyone? They are not just for dipping in ranch. Overall, great muppet costume, but as for insect costume, C-.

Its a spider...umm... mime? With cowboy boots? How avant garde? Does she pantomime spinning a web? Sinking her fangs into a imaginary web bound fly? Getting stuck in a box? Do those extra legs also press in mock confusion against imaginary glass? Do spiders wear spurs? Do they ride horses? Do mimes mime riding horses? Do cowboys eat imaginary flies? Really, this costume leaves me with more questions than answers. Grade: WTF

Similar to his yellow and black predecessor, this fellow is right in the middle of a number of his high school production of JailHouse Rock! While it has a few dubiously accurate Apidae features, really Janice, the theatre mom with a sewing machine, just added a stinger and some craft store antenna to a "prisoner costume. " Thats it. If you are too cool to have a halloween costume, but want to look like you tried a little, this costume is for you! D

Hey, look who rolled out of bed in their red footie pajamas from the family matched set that Grandma Josephine made everyone wear for the Christmas card! Then found some black housepaint, an old TV antennae, and a  sheer cape and struck a half-hearted show choir pose (again, why??) This guy!It looks more like he's going for a bad pun about the menstrual cycle than anything else. Actually, thats probably a better bet for him than any sort of insect.

Ladybugs like this one

 

Have spots on the elytra (the hard "shell" that beetles are known for) not on the wings themselves. The elytra lift to expose the wings, the wings unfold from their origami-like resting position, and the beetle takes to the air in the adorably awkward manner of a flying rhino. Mr. Felt Spot Cape over here doesn't quite capture that. Nor does he have six legs or dignity. BUT the knobs on the end of the antennae are not inaccurate. C-

I'm just putting this up here as a reminder that "sexy" insect costumes are NOT OK! Ask yourself a few questions before you consider purchasing on of these atrocities at Party City: 1. Can queen bees and members of the worker caste be distinguished by their high heels? 2. It there a distinct point in insect evolutions where tutus diverged? 3. What order can be defined by its heart shaped antennae? 4. What is the average temperature for the night of October 31st in the Northern Hemisphere? 5. WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD? F

OK, ok, if you can't have an anatomically correct insect costume, at least make a good pun, like this guy! This is clearly...a bark beetle, haha, get it! I might not have known that if my career trajectory wasn't increasing based on bark beetles, but this is pretty impressive. To stitch together a suit of armor made entirely of tree bark and then wear it for any length of time- that is commitment to a pun! True he looks a little constipated, but it certainly isn't for lack of fiber in his diet! Bark beetles eat the nutrient/sugar rich sapwood of trees (just below the bark), utilizing gut microbes to help digest the tough lignins that make trees woody. Their cousins, ambrosia beetles, are even cooler (and more dangerous to trees), because they keep fungal spore in their pockets to grow a fungal garden under the bark of trees for their larvae to feast on! Anyways, I'm a big fan of this costume and, finally, those silly little clubbed antennae are accurate! A

Now this. This is amazing and horrifying and disgusting and incredible an I hate looking at it but I can't look away (welcome to entomology). This, my friends, is the dreaded bed bug. Part of the reason I cringe so strongly is that I have personal experience with this little terror (which I can detail in a future post for those wanting more info), and believe me, knowing that they inhabit your bed and the cracks in your walls is pretty nightmare-provoking. As an entomologist, I like insects, but I don't have to like them all.

*Shudder*, anyways, this costume is mind blowing. Accurate to a fault, it even fills with blood! I think some clever costume designer walked the streets of New York one Halloween, terrifying apartment dwelling New Yorkers. I'll go ahead and say the accuracy is stunning, but I'm not gonna look at it too closely, if you don't mind. A+ (?)

OK, one more from the I'm-an-adult-man-in-a-bug-costume-so-I-must-strike-a-wierd-dance-pose line of reasoning. A classic cockroach. I mean, if you couldn't tell from the costume, surely the unlaced hipster work boots, protruding tongue, and King Tut dance moves clarify things? I'm not really sure what he's going for here but this face is indicative of the way I feel about store-bought Halloween costumes. Actually, unlike this guy, a vast majority of cockroaches do not live in a New York studio apartment, surrounded by pizza boxes, sockless and nonchalant about their dashed acting hopes. There are three or four species of roaches that enjoy living in our human spaces eating our food and hiding in our cabinets and the other 4,600 or more are pretty much peacefully eating dead leaves on a forest floor somewhere.

This costume has long antennae, six legs, and actual cerci. Honestly, besides the shag carpeting on the arms, its not too terrible. But he's really got to work on those moves. B-

Now here is an example of where one can depart slightly from anatomical accuracy because this is just a gorgeous jacket, and an artistic expression of the inherent beauty of insects. This Jenny Campbell costume design (that I am coveting) is a beautiful rendition of a lightning bug, and if it lights up it gets even more points. I mean, look at this actual lightning bug. Its got a lot of the same elements:

 Lightning "bugs" are actually beetles who carry out a chemical reaction inside their abdomens causing their butts to light up-a skill we know we all wish we had. Why the light? Well, each species of firefly has a particular flashing pattern to attract a mate of the same species. However, in a Halloweenishly frightening way, some females can emit the signal of a male firefly of a different species- and when he approaches, drawn by the allure of her flashing butt, she eats him! 

I'm really impressed by the way that this costume closely examines the intricate and exquisite details of a tiny life form that normally appears only a pinpoint of light at dusk. So yeah, its missing some legs and antennae, but I'll give this one an A and look for it on Etsy.

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So that concludes the second edition of An Entomologist Judges Insect Halloween Costumes! It may be nearly Christmas, but proper entomologizing takes time. The internet has turned up some great things, some mediocre things, and more bros in show choir poses (a great mystery of the universe we may never understand). Thanks for accompanying me on this year's journey, and please remember, just say no to "sexy" polyester insect costumes.